First, a little backstory…

In the fall of 2009, the audience for TheYoungMommyLife.com (my baby, my brand, my everything!) had doubled from the previous year, and I was looking for some way to give back. It was part experiment/part altruism. I searched for an organization that I could host a fundraiser for, and after a couple of quick Google searches, I found The National Crittenton Foundation. And they found me.

The National Crittenton Foundation is actually a nationwide network of nonprofit organizations, with local agencies dedicated to young women and the challenges they face: transitioning out of the foster care system, teen pregnancy, juvenile justice, sexual abuse and exploitation.

It’s all very heavy stuff (and reminds me of how much work there still is to do) but the amazing thing about the foundation and all of its staff members is how upbeat and confident everyone is. Smiles on everyone’s faces and great big mama-bear hugs – it’s not hard to imagine how these women are able to have such an impact on young women all over the country.

The overwhelming emotions you feel when observing the Crittenton women: safe. Secure. Loved. Supported. I was excited to join the Crittenton women (and men) for their annual meeting this year at Disney World. They are kicking off a new initiative, Assets for Life, which is a new effort that builds off so much of the work they’ve already done. They are increasing their services to provide these young women with more assistance in the way of job readiness training, career exploration, mental health recognition, nutrition and much more…

Day 1 was a welcome reception to introduce us to each other and give us the chance to network. I enjoyed the food (the crab cakes were delish!) but I enjoyed the conversations even more. I sat a table with several different executive directors, discussing the impact of their teen pregnancy prevention programs in D.C. Teaching the girls to be able to distinguish a healthy relationship from a toxic one, surrounding the girls with people who genuinely wish to see them succeed – all of it creates an atmosphere where the teens know what they want and if pregnancy would postpone those dreams.

Day 2 began with “the Heart of Crittenton,” personal stories from young women impacted by Crittenton agencies. One by one, the women stood up. Some proud, some confident (and some a little nervous) to tell their stories. They spoke of the sexual abuse suffered by the hands of their fathers, stepfathers, aunts, uncles, brothers; the drug use they engaged in to medicate the pain; the abusive relationships they were in with their child’s father(s) and how they found the courage to leave.

I saw a group of beautiful (and I mean REALLY beautiful), intelligent, strong women who were survivors. Survived years of abuse at the hands of people they thought loved them and emerged triumphant, persistant in persuing their dreams. I walked away from these women in awe.

One young woman stood up and talked about her drug abuse and how she checked into rehab at age 14, prompted by a positive pregnancy test. “If it wasn’t for getting pregnant…I honestly don’t know if I’d be here, if I’d be alive. I knew I had a little person depending on me now…I couldn’t let him down.”

Yet another stood in front of us and described being physically assaulted by her parents, but having the courage to tell someone and get out. She ended up at a Crittenton agency and is now in college, a proud mommy of one.

One tearful story included a young woman from Sierra Leone, who was 3 years old when a civil war broke out. She still remembers the brutal murders she witnessed, seeing arms, limbs and heads, chopped off.

Another young woman ran away from home after being repeatedly molested by a friend of the family and became pregnant shortly thereafter, homeless and sleeping under a broken street light. She then went to a Florence Crittenton home to get assistance. “At the hospital, when I was in labor, they asked me where I lived,” she recalls. “It felt so good to say that I lived at Inwood House versus a staircase on the street.”

Wow. How wonderfully powerful that is. The Crittenton family of agencies has stories like this by the thousands. So many young women have been impacted in ways that we can only begin to imagine.

Jeannette Pai-Espinosa, executive director of the national organization, is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met, and it is apparent to me, after meeting her a few times and being in her presence, that she is the perfect person to be the head of this organization.

She spoke of the staff’s dedication to their girls: “The past of the young women that come through our doors does not determine their future,” Jeannette said. “It’s not just a job….it’s more like a social movement that supports the empowerment of girls. Our movement is stronger than its ever been.”

I, for one, am proud to be part of that movement and will be dedicating more space to the issues that young women, like the women I met at the annual meeting, have to face every day. This is more than a blog post – this is call to arms. Who’s with me?

Right now, I got the urge to write this post. I want to write this post because there are words in my head that need to get out, my fingers need to go click-click-clack on this here keyboard.

Never mind the fact that I am hungry. (No breakfast.) Or the fact that I have two little ones running in circles around the couch and through the living room and in the kitchen (where I haven’t had breakfast). Or that the TV is little too loud and I could stop and take a second to turn it down but then I’d lose my train of thought and that is just not acceptable.

I need to write like smokers need to smoke. It doesn’t matter to them if it’s cold outside or if they just had a cigarette or if their friends roll their eyes at their habit.

I write in the mornings. At naptime. In the time it takes my daughter to go to the bathroom and wash her hands. At night. At home. At Starbucks. In class. On the laptop. On my iPad. On a napkin.

If I didn’t write I would lose the very essence of me. I’m in love with words and if they deserted me, well, I’d be lost.

Sure, I’m a married woman but words were my first love. If I was lonely or frustrated, I could get my emotions out and put them in a safe place. Words could comfort me, draw that fear out and replace it with satisfaction.

When I got laid off last year, I was scared but I knew this was my opportunity. To become a full-time writer. To pay the bills and provide for my kids doing the one thing I loved most in the world.

This is my dream and it’s here and I’m grabbing it with both hands.

It has been two months exactly since I was laid off.

It still feels like yesterday.

On Sunday nights, I still get that “Gotta go to work in the morning” feeling. Every morning I wake up and turn to grab my work clothes.

Then I remember. I have nowhere to go. I stay here.

Right now, I am the work-at-home mama of two. Both kids are home with me all day every day. In between breakfast, snack time, and potty training, I manage the needs of my growing list of social media and freelance writing clients. Luckily, most of my work can be handled by e-mail with the occasional naptime phone call.

Right now, I’m making mortgage money, something I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to do once the hammer came down back in November.

Somehow I’m making it work. Is it hard? Hell yes. I work all the time now. Evenings, weekends, middle of the day, 1 a.m. – I’m usually up, typing away, doing research, editing, scheduling social media updates.

But I’m my own boss. I get to spend all day with my kids. I’m pocketing the $1,100 per month we were spending on daycare. I save the two hours a day I was spending in the car driving to and from work.

Life is good.

I’ve concluded, definitively, that this was the best thing to happen to me. The best. Even though I didn’t think so at the time.

I’ve been doing a lot of reflection over the past couple days and of course, I’ve come up with some lessons. Feel free to think I’m talking directly to you. Because I am:

1. Self-care needs to be higher on your list. Spending all day at home has allowed me to slow down and take stock of my life. My nails (hands and feet) are always in a “Ugh, I need to get a mani/pedi” mode. I don’t get a chance to do my hair nearly often enough, and my wardrobe is blahsy, blah, blah. I eat too much of the wrong foods and I don’t hardly drink enough water. But now? I’m working out 4x per week, and I keep my water bottle with me. Still working on the hands and feet, but I’m on my way.

2. Kids need attention more than your money. My babies love nothing more than to just sit in my lap and let me rub their bellies. All this time, I’ve been focused on making money. Trying to make sure they never ever have to go without. New clothes, new toys, organic food, enough extra money to keep the heat on 75 in the winter. Yeah, I wanted them to have all that. But now I realize that I should’ve spent more time on the floor with them doing puzzles or making silly faces.

3. Exercise will help you get through the day. Do it as soon as you wake up. If I don’t work out within an hour of waking up, there’s a 90% chance it won’t happen. But once it’s out of the way? It’s smooth sailing from there. I have more energy, more patience, I start the day already feeling like I’ve accomplished something.

4. You need less money than you think. This goes along with #2. I became so preoccupied with my job and making more money that it was really taking a toll on my mental health. And now that we’re down to one steady income, I’m finally seeing that most of my hard work was going straight to daycare bills. How lovely.

5. Quiet time is great. I mean really, really great. That is all I have to say about that.

6. Smoothies are a multitasking mama’s best friend. I can get about 250 calories in one smoothie, complete with protein, fiber, vitamins, you name it. Takes 3 minutes to make once you have the ingredients and it’s a healthy boost.

7. Plan your life and make it count. I feel so fortunate that I had other avenues to turn to once I got the notice that my position was eliminated. (By the way, they have GOT to come up with a better way to say you’ve been laid off. Like, “We can’t afford to pay you anymore, because you’re too awesome for us!”) But that’s because I made it a point to always have multiple options just in case ish went down. And it did. So make that back-up plan, even if you’re confident. You’ll be glad it’s there.

8. Food is awesome. Man, if I could marry a plate of brownies or a pulled pork sandwich, I sure would. They are DELICIOUS and something about great food just makes you…well, you know:

But I’ve been using food for everything lately. For a hobby – I’m learning how to bake and giving the results to my husband’s co-workers and the neighbors. For my kids – teaching them basic lessons using cooking and measuring as starting points. Love.it.

9. Get out the house. For your sanity’s sake. This applies to stay-at-home moms AND those who work outside the home. Get out the house. Go to Panera. Or the bookstore. Just sit and read a magazine. Then go home.

10. All you need is within you. Even if you’re scared, you think you don’t have what it takes, you think the economy is too rough, you think your friends won’t support you – it doesn’t matter. You CAN do it. Don’t be scared. Don’t let that fear paralyze you. You can do it – now go!

I love being a turkey baby. With my birthday always a day before or after Thanksgiving, I get to do my two favorite things: be with family and stuff my face. Win-win.

My birthday falls on Black Friday this year, the used-to-be-official start to the Christmas shopping season. I don’t plan on braving the cold at 3 a.m. (did it one year and only got a stupid digital picture frame – how dumb), but instead I’m staying nice and warm and shopping…online.

What’s in my shopping cart? Read on for my two can’t miss Christmas gifts:

Decoded, by Jay-Z

I want this book for a number of reasons. One, I love all types of behind-the-scenes stuff. I’m seriously trying to figure out what people did back in, say, the 80s, where you watched a movie…and that was it. You just saw a movie. No deleted scenes. No bloopers. No gag reels or “Making of…” featurettes. I can’t imagine.

I was never a die-hard Jay-Z fan but I always admired his hustle, his backstory. How he went from the projects to the front offices. He has power now, something that the little boys in the ‘hood can only dream of at this point in their lives, but because they see their favorite (or former favorite) rapper living larger than life, well, maybe there’s hope for them. His is the ultimate success story, not only because he has millions and gets to be on the cover of Forbes magazine, but because, by all accounts, he is happy. I support that.

 I Am…Sasha Fierce World Tour

Have I told you how much I love Beyonce? No, really. I.love.her. When I was 12-years-old, I sang “No, No, No” in our school talent show with some friends of mine. Now, I’m still scratching my head to that one because a) we were 12 and b) we were at a private Catholic school and those lyrics aren’t exactly appropriate for some pre-teens. But I digress.

Beyonce is the ultimate performer and man, what I wouldn’t give to just follow her around on the day of a concert. She puts in work and I respect that. I really do. I also love the two personalities she’s carved out for herself. Regular life Bey hanging with her friends…and vixen Sasha Fierce when it’s time to perform. I’m a firm believer that everyone needs to have a little Sasha in ‘em when it’s time to work. I know I do. *wink*

So which one of these should I expect to receive for my birthday? I’m not picky. *smile*

See, I really didn’t want to let this blog get all…stale. I pride myself on being a blogger, a GOOD one at that, and the fact that this blog, with my name and personal URL, is sitting here dormant…let’s just say, it’s not sitting well with me.

But there have been many changes since my last update. The most important one being that I am in the midst of starting my own social media consulting business. Many decisions need to be made, and quickly, because I don’t have the luxury of time that many 24-year-olds have. Dude, I have a mortgage. And two kids. And a brand new car. (Well, 2009 model but it’s still “new” in my eyes as long as I’m making the payments.)

I’m lucky that I am one of those people who never defines themselves by the jobs they hold or the salary they make. I feel confident. In fact, I am overwhelmed by possibility. Not too many people get the chance to take some time to figure out what they want to be when they grow up. But I do.

This break in full-time employment gives me a chance to really think about where I want to take my career. But this also gives me a chance to reexamine my #1 role as Mommy. My kids mean the world to me and they are growing up faster than I would like. Can I make my own career? Can I work and still be with them as much as possible?

So on the eve of my 25th birthday, I will take the next few weeks to regroup and reflect on the new path I’m on.

Watch what happens next.

It’s pretty telling that this blog is taken almost word-for-word from a Facebook conversation I had with a friend about a night from hell I had lately. Read on for the chaos that can occur when the power goes out in a house full of sissies.

…Last night I wake up at 2 a.m. because both kids are screaming. My husband gets Thomas and I get Yaya and it takes me a minute to realize the power is out. TJ goes downstairs to see if it’s just us, but nope, it’s the whole block. Grr…

I go lay with Ayanna in her bed (a toddler bed!!) so she’ll fall asleep. She does, but because I gave her some juice so she wouldn’t be so hot, she pees in the bed, all over me.

It’s 3 a.m., and I’m not interested in changing sheets, so I go get the extra comforters, and pillows and lay ‘em down on the floor and have her sleep on the floor. I lay next to her but wake up every 10 minutes because she keeps flopping around.

THEN it’s time for me to go to work and the power’s still not on. My car is in the garage…how am I supposed to get to work?

So TJ’s out there with a flashlight trying to figure out how to manually open the door. Ugh…all the things you don’t think about when you have electricity! I was going to Google it, but my wireless doesn’t work without the power. Duh!

We were so lost without electricity. It was sad. We had no phone books, we had one phone that worked, my cell phone was dead. I was itching to post a Facebook update, but couldn’t! Can you imagine?! No contact with the outside world!

So I blog. I have kids. I blog about having kids. So that makes me a “mommy blogger.”

As my traffic has grown, so has my e-mail inbox, filled more and more with pitches from PR people, looking to get their product/promotion/website in front of my readers. Some of them are spot on, while others, well, not so much (denture cream anyone?). Some are written by people who have actually read my blog and can tell me how they relate to my stories of exhaustion and joy. I like those. Others give the generic “Dear Sir or Madam.” Um, okay. I’d be surprised if a blog called “The Young Mommy Life” was written by a guy, but I guess in 2010 you can never be too sure, right?

I’ve been reading posts all over the blogosphere from other mom bloggers who don’t hesitate to call these companies out on their laziness. I get their point and I can see how bringing these issues up in the open benefits everyone: PR people learn what works and what doesn’t; mom bloggers receive more pitches that geniunely interest them; and their readers are better served.

I’m a newbie to this advertising/reviews/giveaway game. I get these pitches and I honestly take the time to read them all. Right now, it’s about 7-10 per week. I have no idea if that’s high or low. If it sounds like something I might be interested in no matter how poorly executed the pitch was, I give a quick e-mail asking for more information. I also steer them to my advertising and PR page on my blog, which gives a quick rundown on why I participate in reviews and giveaways.

I am very open about why I started my blog: to give young mothers a voice. We haven’t been represented well and we needed a place where our opinions mattered and we wouldn’t be ignored because we popped out a kid at 20 instead of 40. [I always have to seem to give a disclosure on this, but I am NOT against older mothers. I love us all.]

I did not get into this for the free shampoos or the trips to Disney. I accept maybe 5% of what’s offered to me. Maybe not even that much. I think I’ve done three giveaways and I’ve been blogging (on this blog at least) for two years. Do I feel left out sometimes, when other bloggers seem to host a giveaway every third day and their readership grows because of it? Yes, I do.

But if it doesn’t serve my readers (my community) then I don’t do it. I was approached by a major diaper brand to be part of its new campaign. I declined because, well, I don’t use their diapers. I use store-brand diapers. I’m cheap and the store-brand ones work just as well and they don’t have the fragrance that makes my kids break out.  I try to maintain some integrity, even if it is just about some stinkin’ diapers.

So…um…yeah.

This website.

Like the cobwebs?

Didn’t mean to completely abandon it but life has been busy. I know, I know, you’ve heard it before. But I have been busy! I promise!

But 2010 will be different. I mean it! I will be back and this blog will reflect my newest love – social media. My goodness, I can’t get enough of it and so maybe this will keep me on a regular posting schedule. I write about myself enough at my other blog. Don’t need to do it here too.

Are there any books on writing (writing better, writing faster, learning about great writers) that you would recommend? Leave them in the comments!